I used to want to live in Ohio. I'd ask my parents every day. Now I'm going to school here. Three months and I couldn't be more sick of it. Relient K is from Ohio and they never made it sound exciting, but it sure sounded a lot better than where I was.
I used to complain about curvy roads and hills. I told myself there was no way I would ever miss that. Took me about a week.
Dear Ohio,
You look so good from a distance. Really, you look pretty sexy. You are covered in corn, so obviously I want to have an affair with you. Three months and I have not once had corn on the cob.
You are too flat. Your winds are incessant. You are incredibly soggy.
I think I hate you. I'm sorry, but it's not me. It's you.
It doesn't rain straight down in Ohio. You could walk 5 miles in the pouring rain and your hair wouldn't even be wet. Instead, it rains sideways and no matter what direction you turn, it seems to be pelting you in the face. Add some wind to that, so now it feels like icy razor blades being shot out of a cannon.
Ohio is the windiest place I have ever been. There is absolutely nothing to stop the wind. I wish they would build some skyscrapers or hills to protect me. It has gotten to the point where it hurts to walk to class. I have been teeth. Huge. It's hard for me to close my mouth and I'm a mouth breather. I try so hard to keep my mouth closed when I'm outside, but it's so impossible. So my teeth have been hurting for a week straight. Just like with the rain, you're always traveling AGAINST the pain. Winter will be fun...
Not to mention, every Kroger around here is skanky.
You do offer me great gas mileage though..
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